Gimme Some Bones

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents the newest addition of the slowpoke waffle iron kitchen suite.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents the newest addition of the slowpoke waffle iron kitchen suite.

It’s a structured frame to hold onto

It’s a brace to move when you want to

 

It’s armor for what is squishy and soft

It’s a blood factory that holds you aloft.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents an aggravated mumble worm infection.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents an aggravated mumble worm infection.

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Jump on the Bandwagon. Ban the Account: Idea #0027

Be aware, unlike all of  my other posts, this is not an original idea. I’m jumping on the bandwagon…

In literature, one hundred and forty characters are overwhelming, but in intelligent discourse, they are inadequate or unintelligible. At best one hundred and forty characters can be used to make an incisive valid assertion that lacks nuance, and at worst they fit together to become a nightmare of incoherent hyperboles. Perhaps this explains why the Donald J Trump enjoys Twitter so much, for he, himself, is a walking nightmare of incoherent hyperboles.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents the rebirth of roller skating for giant sloths.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents the rebirth of roller skating for giant sloths.

Rarely does the DJT blubber one of his characteristic word jumbles without injecting a generic modifier like “tremendous, big, huge, or best,” into the mix. And who can blame him. He does, after all, know “the best” meaningless words, and he knows them big league. It only makes sense that these words are his favorites. If one is into self hype and advertisement, it is critical to make things sound appealing without lying. To do that, it is useful to use words that have no meaning without context, words that appeal not to thought but to emotional conditioning. Slogans, litanies, and trademarks, these realities of the DJT fit Twitter nicely and do well in stirring up mindless reactionary fervor and repetitive chanting. Unfortunately, that is not the job of the president of the United States. In order to understand the true responsibility of the president of the United States it is helpful to consider the role of the nation in the context of the world.

For all of its faults, the United States is still the momentary master of this fragile sphere spinning about Sol. It’s not because we’re the most democratic; we aren’t, not because we’re the most free and equal; we aren’t, nor even because we have a narrow lead in scientific research, but rather because we have a mix of positive attributes in addition to a hefty global presence. Put simply, our nation has it’s fingers in quite a few pots, the fingers of trade, foreign aid, and military might or tyranny depending on your perspective. This means that much of the world depends on us for stability, for protection, and for predictable commerce. Because our nation is entrenched in this vital and delicate symbiosis with the rest of the world, the greatest responsibility of the president of the United States, the POTUS, is diplomacy.

Alas, O lost we are for the incoming POTUS is the antithesis of diplomacy. Every day we’re fed examples of unpalatable rhetoric and unpotable promises. This POTUS picks fights over trivialities and disrespects powerful people without consideration of the consequences. He intentionally creates unnecessary enemies. He fights with the disabled, women, and grieving families. There was no need for a feud with Khans, or the former miss universe, yet he couldn’t let it go. Where did much of this conflict take place, Twitter, and it’s not just private citizens he targets with thoughtless remarks. He surrenders to impulse and tweets about China. He taunts Kim Jong-un. While it is important to show confidence in the face of threats, we do not need to taunt Kim Jong-un and give him added psychological incentive to succeed. The DJT’s unsupervised twitter impulses have now infected the rest of the globe. This is a problem. He’s no longer just the DJT. He’s soon to be POTUS DJT.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents over two centuries of toe sock manufacturing.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents over two centuries of toe sock manufacturing.

When you’re the DJT, nobody cares what you tweet about. When you’re the POTUS, the head of the modern world’s greatest military industrial complex, every tweet holds the weight of significant international implication. Every harsh word could be viewed as a veiled threat. When people or countries are threatened, they often take actions to protect themselves. The world does not need such a destabilizing influence. Furthermore, his attack tweets incite mobs of violent trolls to flood the target of his attack with hate speech and death threats. The incoming POTUS would be wise to restrain himself. Alas his twitter history is one of irresponsibility.

His pattern of behavior demonstrates that he can not be trusted to resist his impulses. He’s nothing more than a toddler in this regard. He can not be allowed to continue. We must demand that his twitter account be banned or placed in the custody of his slightly more responsible staff. This is not a case of free speech for two very obvious reasons. First because his twitter behavior incites death threats and harassment on a large scale, it is equivalent to yelling fire in a crowded theater. Second, Twitter is a business and can, with cause, reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. There is ample cause. If Twitter was a restaurant, DJT would be the customer insulting the wait staff and other patrons, sneezing on the salad bar, and throwing food. It’s time we ban the DJT from twitter. It’s time we take this toddler’s favorite toy away.

Who will implement this? Whomever we can find with the power. As of now, I am asking all twitter users to report the account @realDonaldTrump for violations that include abuse, harassment, and reckless endangerment of life. Alternatively Sign the petition found here http://www.thepetitionsite.com/175/134/527/

I was going to create my own, but unsurprisingly, someone beat me to it. Please sign the petition or report the account. Remember he’s not just harassing individuals, he’s threatening the security of United States and the world as a whole.

It’s time we take the bottle from this baby. Let’s mute his temper tantrums.  It’s time we citizens of the world take action and begin a petition to ban the DJT from twitter. POTUS unpalatable unpotable. It’s time we take this toddler’s favorite toy away.

Please note: it was never my intent to post anything but the seemingly preposterous on this site. I apologize for deviating from that format. This just needed to be said even if sites that are vastly more well known have already suggested it. I probably won’t dirty this site with well reasoned thought again.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents the end of pancakes.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents the end of pancakes.

We Need to Say No to Chemicals: Idea #0026

For far too long, we’ve been putting up with poison. It seems that every piece of meat, fruit or vegetable, every lotion, shampoo, and toothpaste, every toy, every vehicle and every piece of clothing these days is composed of some kind of nasty chemical. Studies show chemicals kill! It’s time we eliminate them once and for all.

Their insidious influence is inside us. They put thoughts in our heads and make our muscles twitch and squirm. Within our circulatory systems, within our very blood we’re saturated with chemicals. It’s sickening. Maybe it’s not that bad some might say to themselves. Sure there are a few unethical cutthroat corporations and government institutions that sell or manufacture things with chemicals, but that can’t be true for all of them.

Unfortunately it is true. Soon many citizens of earth will come to the alarming realization that every product ever manufactured, was and is made out of chemicals! If there was anywhere to run, now would be the time to flee for your life! Alas, there is nowhere to run, so keep sitting still.

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This image represents the last warning Elmo Monster ever got.

How bad can chemicals be, many might ask. It’s fairly straightforward. Whenever anyone feels angry, sad, lustful, greedy, or terrified, they’ve felt that way because of chemicals. In fact, it would be impossible for anyone to feel that way without chemicals. Behind every malignant tumor pulsing and strangling with unregulated growth, there are chemicals. In the core of those nasty herpes sores lay none other but the evil chemicals. When they clear up, they don’t go away but hide, slumbering in the nougaty nucleolus center. Every sneeze, sniffle, hiccup, ooze or gassy expulsion in any human being is a result of chemicals.

Every wrinkle, every rigid joint, every ache and pain of aging or growing has been brought on by chemicals. Any idea anybody has ever had, any action ever taken is caused by evil, evil chemicals.

They come out of our faucets. They fill the air. They even slumber on and in the ground we walk upon. They enter homes through the tiniest of spaces. The slide up are noses into the nasopharynx. They fill our lungs, branching into every bronchus all the way down into the bronchioles. Flee for your lives!

It’s time that we Americans set an example for the rest of the world and call for a moratorium on matter made of chemicals.

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This image represents fruit by the foot wrapped around a chili dog.

I’ve been gone for too long. It’s time to resurrect this blog. Now more than ever, the world is in great danger.