The Solution to Abortion: Idea #0025

Artsy Photo:Click for full size. This image represents the new bubble gum of that dog's boy, Elroy.

Artsy Photo:Click for full size. This image represents the new bubble gum of that dog’s boy, Elroy.

Citizens of America, citizens of the world, citizens of Cygnus Alta Five, a great galactic injustice is going unpunished. That’s right, it’s the murder of precious, precious unborn babies, the least guilty of the human population. They haven’t even sinned yet, much less broken the law. Yes it’s true we’re all born with that nebulous original sin, but these babies are unborn and thus free of original sin. That’s right, they cannot yet be condemned for the sins of their ancestors. Abortion is a dreadful and complex situation. We’ve made some progress to solving the issue with intelligent questions, well a question at least that frames the debate in a thoughtful manner.

When does life begin? It’s a very meaningful question regardless of the fact that almost anyone over the age of four could answer it. Once that question is answered it puts abortion in context of significant legal precedents. As we all know, it’s illegal to kill things that are alive. Remember all those people jailed for killing bacteria and mosquitoes, not to mention all the incarcerated farmers, and deer hunters. As matter of fact we’ve jailed everyone who’s ever eaten anything. Wait….what we haven’t? Why are we asking that question then? Maybe there’s a better one.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represent dangerous new pants.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents dangerous new pants.

There’s a whole bunch of bumper stickers that tell us when the heartbeat begins. It starts in a handful of weeks after conception. Perhaps the destruction of a working heart is amoral. Remember when all those beef farmers were jailed for killing cows with heartbeats….oh wait. Ok new question.

We know that, with a few exceptions like war and stand your ground laws, it’s illegal to kill humans. What makes it human, or when does humanity begin? Is it a full set of human chromosomes? Maybe, but does that mean if I prick my finger and the leukocytes that escape through my wound die, I am guilty of murder? I suppose we could look to the brain, the seat of thought and everything that makes humans special beside the energy efficient bipedal posture. That sounds complicated though. We’d have to put thought into the debates. I don’t have time to sit through that. Don’t worry though. I have a happy solution for everyone that will avoid the messy discussions of the complex issue.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents a King's quest tap dance.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents a King’s quest tap dance.

We’re just not interfering with personal choice enough. If we try to dictate reproductive choice after conception, it’s far too late. Instead the government needs to get involved before that slick, warm, wet, gooey event of joy transpires. Shortly before the onset of puberty, we must mandate birth control and vasectomies for all. We could even accomplish the goals with nothing more than mandatory vasectomies/spermicidal injections into the vas deferens. Now that the process is becoming easily reversible, its a humane and rational solution that is likely to make many boys and men smile once they get over their initial and irrational fear of the needles or scissors. Teenage pregnancies will plummet. Also if the policy is enforced only on men, women will be free of the burden of the disruptive endocrine effects inherent in many birth control methods, as well as unwarranted accusations on general sluttiness. I know it’s awful to think of women engaging in sexual intercourse for any purpose beyond the production of a human baby. It’s just not wholesome if they enjoy it, for shame!

After the vasectomies, when and if the man is finally ready for reproduction, he can fill out procreation form 1-B describing his financial and mental stability, as well as his fitness for child rearing, or if not that, the fitness of the mother in those regards. Once accomplished, after a short wait of 6-8 months, the vasectomy can be reversed in anticipation of reproduction. When all pregnancies are planned, abortion will be a thing of the past. We must protect the babies until were ready to neglect them. They’re innocent until they’re born. After that, when they’ve outgrown their cuteness stages, who the hell cares what happens to them?

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents scissors for sally.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents scissors for sally.

The Great River

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents counter proposal 1a between the street government of and the potato cake freak out of Nautilus 5.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents counter proposal 1a between the street government and the potato cake freak out of Nautilus 5.

Inorganic solute, pH, and fluid volume balance
Removing metabolic scraps and saving sugar
Using filtration and active transport talents
Renal filtrate funneled as urine down the ureter to the bladder station
Tumbling warm and wet from the urethra in the process of micturition
Every day the kidneys take care of the great river transit inside
monitoring and cleaning the pristine rapids, controlling the tide

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents the new braid on Punky Brewster.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents the new braid on Punky Brewster.

Square Pants Dance

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represent the nougat of Cassanova.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represent the nougat of Cassanova.

A loose community of aquatic friends
Working together for filtering ends
As the wet currents pass them by
Choanocytes catch the food on the fly
If broken apart there are no issues
Phylum porifera has no tissues

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents Princess Diana's feelings about Grover Monster's waiter skills.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents Princess Diana’s feelings about Grover Monster’s waiter skills.

Circle of Red Sometimes With a Circle of Willis

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents a jingle bell chain saw.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents a jingle bell chain saw.

A central station, a pulsing power hub, transport to a dynamic beat lub dub.
Departures and arrivals at kidney, lungs, and liver; patrolling soldiers swarm a sliver.

Nourishment, oxygen, messengers, and warriors ride the tubes far and near.
Relentless, powerful, rhythmic, essential, never stopping, year after year.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. Picture here, the Finnish people

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. Pictured here, the Finnish people

Safety First

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image obviously represents Heigh ho, Silver, away!

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image obviously represents Heigh ho, Silver, away!

Don’t touch that thing; it’s just not safe.

See the skull and cross bones? Hear the shrill alarm tones?
Notice the blood, dried and crusty. Look at all the edges, jagged and rusty.
See the circle of wilted dying flowers? Ware that three eyed toad, fear its evil powers.

Artsy Photo: click for full size. This image represents Edgar Poe's forgotten bowl of noodles.

Artsy Photo: click for full size. This image represents Edgar Poe’s forgotten bowl of noodles.

I beg you don’t go near it. Play with this lion instead. Smoke a cigarette in bed. Join a suicidal cult. Greet a mobster with insult. Handle some snakes. Drive without brakes. Poke a mother bear with a stick. Give an outlet a lick, but avoid that thing over there.

Don’t attempt to cross the barbed wire. Don’t mock that snarling dog’s ire.
“Don’t do it” I say! Stay out of the way!

Don’t touch that thing; it’s just not safe.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents Fort Nerf.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents Fort Nerf.

Secret Stash

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents fried rice hurtling through space.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents fried rice hurtling through space.

I’m sick of your mustache and all it represents.

Everyone hates your mustache. None are on the fence.

Your mustache is dirty. It doesn’t show panache.

Let’s get that hair off now, and throw it in the trash.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents a New York hour.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represents a New York hour.

You’re not a cowboy or swashbuckling rogue.

That gross ugly fur above your lip will never be vogue.

This follicular folly must end now for goodness sake!

Shave it before the meeting, for there’s too much at stake.

Remember when buttered broccoli got stuck on your face.

The mustache held it for half the day. Don’t repeat disgrace.

All that food and sweat festers and feeds the mustache forest.

I picked mushrooms from the underbrush, it’s hygiene at its poorest.

It scares me at night. I see glowing eyes hidden in the thick.

I dreamt you were a rabid schnauzer dripping froth foamy and sick.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represent the proper way to tap dance in front of the emperor of Loatia Minor.

Artsy Photo: Click for full size. This image represent the proper way to tap dance in front of the emperor of Loatia Minor.

I’m sick of your mustache and all it represents.

Everyone hates your mustache. None are on the fence.