Facing great danger, the world needs more babies: Idea #0011

Unrelated artsy photo

Unrelated artsy photo: click for full size

The world is in constant danger. We humans face dwindling supplies of energy, food, water, and shelter, and increasing supplies of carbon dioxide, garbage, and metabolic waste. The solution is clear. We need to have more babies. Each one is, after all, a miracle.

For the sake of the diaper industry, we need more babies. For the sake of, strained carrots, peas, and Pfizer formula, we need more babies. For the sake of women’s rights, we need more babies.

Babies can commit no sin other than the original sin that they are born with. All they can do is defecate, urinate, drool, and vomit. Squeal! Aren’t they cute?! Babies can not wage war or say unkind words. They can only babble and wiggle in divine ignorance. They have not yet committed the sin of gaining knowledge. We must try to maintain their ignorance, so that they remain innocent.

As a society, it is our godly duty to encourage reproduction so we can maintain the indispensable exponential function increase in the baby population. Together, we must discourage contraception as much as possible. Only by increasing the cost of contraception, and limiting public financial assistance, do we ensure the healthy baby boom that this world desperately needs. By eliminating mandates on corporate bodies to fund these obstacles to the bloody miracle of birth, we can increase the baby population for the financially beleaguered.

As soon those deadbeat parasites create another life, we can begin instilling values of fiscal responsibility by defunding the social support programs that encourage handout entitlement philosophy. We need more babies, but we don’t want them suckling the government teat. When it comes to learning the value of a dollar, hardship is the best instructor. Seven billion miracles aren’t enough. Let’s make some more. Hallelujah!


Unrelated artsy photo: Click for full size


This post marks just over 1% progress towards 1001 ideas. Only about

20 more years to go towards salvation at this rate.


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