Solving the water crisis: Idea #0007

Unrelated artistic photograph

Unrelated artistic photograph: click for full size

Across the globe there are many places where water demand exceeds water supply. It is no secret that only a fraction of a percent of the worlds water is potable and that the supply remains constant while demand increases. Clearly we need better water management. I can think of no one better than a large multi-national corporate entity. It’s time to privatize all water for the betterment of mankind. If all water is managed by a few corporate super powers, it can only result in the most balanced altruistic distribution of a precious natural resource the world has ever known.

Pepsico, please bottle all potable public water; its far safer as a packaged product. Steer us away from this municipal madness. Sell us our rivers and transform our wretched aquifers into Aquafinas. Coca-cola, please drain all the dreadful lakes languishing across the country and convert them into Dasani. Nestlé needs more plastic to free us from the foolishness of affordable water. When it takes 2000 times more energy to distribute water, it discourages waste. We also need new large scale entities to oversee the ownership of water. Who better than Pfizer for the patronage of our water quality when they have such an investiture in public health. Water will flow freely when we surrender our liquid assets to our betters. Welcome to a refreshing new world.

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