According to the world Health Organization 1.7 million people a year are injured in car accidents. Of those injuries, 1.2 million of them are fatal. That’s almost two one hundreths of one percent of the world’s 7 billion people. This is a serious issue. Fortunately there is a solution. We just need to sign all the world’s drivers up for geico insurance, because it’s obvious that people who have geico insurance do not get into automobile accidents.
Only a moment’s reflection is necessary to understand the truth of geico. At this time, geico has several different ad campaigns running. There’s the annoying cavemen, the stupid gecko who needs to be introduced to a hungry house cat, the squealing pig that should be bacon, the worthless pile of talking money, and the assortment of rhetorical questions. They run ads on national television once or twice during virtually every major commercial break, each of which likely costs nearly one hundred thousand dollars. As that clearly is not enough exposure, they constantly run radio ads, internet ads, and decorate billboards. What a relief.
Between breakfast and our journey to work, we might have forgotten that fifteen minutes could save us fifteen percent or more on car insurance. Put down those flash cards, Billy! Believe it or not there are more important things to remember than fractions and multiplication tables! Tell us, how much savings do you get with fifteen minutes?
All the money spent on advertising points to only one thing; geico insured drivers do not get into automobile accidents. How could they? Geico does not have any money left over from advertising to handle an insurance claim. What a thoughtful company. Instead of hording the profits from their life saving insurance policies, they give back to the community by spending all their revenue on a relentless litany to recruit more poor, lost, unbelieving souls thus decreasing traffic fatalities. It’s a noble investment. It would be an unforgivable waste to spend all that currency on frivolous things like research, education, hunger or drought alleviation, cleaning the oceans, reconstruction of war devastated regions, or, god forbid, raising the salaries of their lowest paid employees.
Here’s to you geico. Time to sign up to your life saving insurance for a safe time posting while drivnaaaaaaafgvb asdk.;